


A Shade of Love

by rayyllol



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayyllol/pseuds/rayyllol
Summary: You're new to the BAU and your first day there you see the hottest guy ever, hmmm I wonder how this is gonna turn out.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

It was your first day at the BAU. You couldn't believe that you actually made it this far. Sure, you've wanted this forever but that still didn't take the shock away from it. Ever since your parents were murdered and the killer was never found, you wanted to catch other killers and give other families closure. Maybe not so much for other families now that you think about, maybe more for yourself.

Anyways you needed to meet with JJ so you could get a feel for the place and know where you would be working from while in Virginia. You walk in the room feeling as nervous as ever. _It's so busy,_ you thought to yourself. _Then again would a place meant to catch killers ever truly be quiet, or calm for that matter?_ As you walk towards the closest desk to ask where JJ even is you catch the eye of the hottest guy you have ever seen. His beautiful brown eyes were something that you knew you would hold on to. _Damn,_ you thought to yourself, _he's hot._ You weren't paying attention to where you were going and ran straight into a desk. _Of course, wow y/n you just had to be your clumsy self as soon as you see the hottest guy ever, so smart._

Someone asked if you were okay but you were so focused on what has just happened you barely heard them over your own thoughts. Once you finally came back to reality you saw a man over you with a very serious expression. To be honest you were kinda intimidated at first but you finally responded to the man with, "Oh yes, I'm fine thank you". He helped you up and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Aaron Hotchner, but most of the people around here call me Hotch. I'm the unit chief of the BAU, and you are?". "y/f/n y/l/n" You respond a little too quickly. You were so embarrassed. Not only had you fallen in front of the hottest guy ever, but you also fell in front of the entire BAU. _Way to make a first impression._

You told Hotch that you needed to see JJ and that you didn't know where her office was. He was kind enough to show you the way there. On the way to JJ's office, you meet some of the people that you would be working with. Names you knew that would take you forever to remember but faces that would last a lifetime.

You finally got to JJ's office and she was waiting by the door for you. She looked at Hotch with an intense yet playful glare, "You didn't give her too much of a bad time did you?", she said. "No, of course not" Hotch replied with a sarcastic tone even though the statement was true. He actually made your first day not so nerve-racking. JJ giggled and welcomed you to her office. She went over basic protocol for the workplace and other information that you would need to know while you worked here.

Later on, when everyone was leaving, you ran into hot stuff. This was the name that decided you'd call the guy from earlier since you didn't know his name. You decided that you'd jump out of your comfort zone for a moment and introduce yourself. "Hi", you said, "I'm y/n". You knew you were red, but you didn't care. You actually talked to a cute guy for once, you were proud of yourself. He laughed, "You're the girl that fell earlier aren't you?". You frowned a little, _and this is how he's going to remember you y/n, as the girl that fell._ "Yep that's me", you said. He smirked, even his freaking smirk was cute. "Are you okay?", _wait a second did he actually care?_ "Yea, I'm fine", you replied, you kinda wanted this conversation to end. "Anyways I'm Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid.". _Did the man have a doctorate?_ "How old are you?" you asked. "26, and yes I have a doctorate. There's 3 of them." _Holy shit, he's hot and smart. Can this get any better?_ "Anyways, Have a great rest of your night". "Yea you too", you said.

You didn't want to have another relationship, especially with what happened with the last one. But you could kiss that goodbye. You could now say that you had an official crush on Spencer Reid. Then again who couldn't?


	2. Chapter 2

You were hot and sweaty. You were filled with pleasure. Staring at Spencer's eyes was enough to make you see galaxies, but doing him?! That was a whole other arena. "I love you" you said. He smiled and whispered back in your ear "I love you to-

Your alarm clock was blaring next to your ear and you woke up. You were disappointed that your dream wasn't real but at least you got to see him at work today. You get in your car to drive to work. The drive, as long as it was, was peaceful. It gave you a chance to think about things and get your head straight. You thought about Spencer. The way his hair fell, his brown eyes, and that laugh. You could listen to that laugh all day long.

You arrived at the BAU and quickly realized that you forgot to ask where your desk was. You didn't know who to ask but you saw Hotch and thought that that was a good place to start. "Good Morning, y/n." He greeted you as you walked closer to him. "Morning." You replied. "So, I forgot to ask where my desk was yesterday and I was wondering if you know where I am." His face remained the same firm line it had been. "Now you can't be working here and forget to ask simple questions like that now can you?" "No of course no-". Your sentence was cut short by hot stuff, "Lighten up Hotch, she was probably just overwhelmed yesterday." It was true, you were. With your nervousness from it being your first day at the BAU, you were already overwhelmed. But your fall just messed up your whole order of thinking and you forgot to ask JJ where your desk was.

Hotch sighed and told you that he didn't know where your desk was. He said that you would have to ask JJ. You made your way to her office, accompanied by Spencer. He offered to walk with you, maybe to make you feel not so alone. _Maybe he likes me. No no no, that wishful thinking y/n, Why would he even want to take up his time with someone that is nowhere near as smart as he is,_ _let alone as good looking._ He asked if he could go talk to JJ first, "It won't take long I promise". He rushed in and asked JJ a question. You purely guessed this off of his facial expression as he talked to JJ. He walked back out and said, "You sitting next to me." You turned red. _Hot stuff sticks up for me and then he probably just asked if_ _I_ _could sit next to him._ "I asked JJ if you could sit by me since me and Hotch are the only two people you've had actual conversations with. I thought that maybe you didn't want to be alone" "Yea, thanks." "Anytime"

It was the end of the day and you were packing up random papers. "Let me give you my number." Spencer said abruptly. "Wha-what" you asked. "Let me give you my number" he repeated, "For work purposes of course." "Yea, of course." You exchanged numbers and he walked you to your car. You hoped that he would walk you to your car at the end of every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Once again I haven't watched much Criminal Minds so if anything in this that is wrong, comment to let me know so that way I can write later chapters more accurately.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again your alarm was blaring in your ear. You looked at your phone to see if anything interesting had happened while you were asleep. Nothing ever did but you thought you could get lost looking on Instagram anyways. You saw that you had a text message from Spencer. You were confused about how he got your number but then you remembered what had happened the night before. You saw a simple text that read "Good Morning y/n". _Wow, he actually remembered my name._ Last night you had just given him your number and not actually put your name on his phone.

You walked into work but something was different. It was a little bit busier than it had been the last two days. "There's been a murder in Akron, Ohio." you heard someone say. _It's happening._ JJ called a meeting to go over the details of the murder. "We got one, Zach Mills, 48 years old. He had a wife and three kids." _How could someone do this to a family?_ "He was found at a truck stop by the staff and was propped up to make him look like he was still alive." _People get murdered y/n the world is not kind._ "The Police reported that he was stabbed 72 times in the chest." You hadn't noticed that Spencer had moved towards you because you were partly listening to what JJ was saying but you were also partly in your own world. Remembering what you had heard happened to your parents.

The meeting ended. You didn't even realize it. Spencer put his hand on your shoulder after everyone had left and you didn't budge. You were so focused on your parents. You heard someone say your name but you couldn't get out of it. The thought of them consumed you. You felt hot tears run down your cheeks. You blinked and saw Spencer looking at you with the most concerned-looking face you've ever seen. "y/n! Are you okay?" You finally responded with an almost non-existent "no." He looked at you, not really sure of what to do. He didn't want you to feel uncomfortable but he also didn't want you to hurt anymore. So he did the only thing a rational person would do, he pulled you in for a hug. "I don't know what's wrong" He paused and you hugged him back. "But it's going to be okay, I promise." You stayed like that for a moment as he let you cry into his shoulder. He walked you to the bathroom and let you go in. You wanted for him to come in with you but it was only your third day of knowing him so you didn't ask. You walked in and wiped your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror, red face and puffed up eyes. _You let go of that memory, why are you letting it come back._ *knock* *knock* "We need to leave in 15 minutes, are you okay?" You were shocked by how much he cared. "Yea I'm fine now. Thank you." "Yes, of course, let me know if you need anything."

You were on the plane to go to Akron, Spencer sat with you. He wanted to fill you in on what you had missed during the meeting, but he also wanted to give some kind support after what had happened 10 minutes ago. You appreciated it sure but you also loved it. This was nice, having a man care for you that wasn't using you for his own benefit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> omg it's the first chapter with a real Spencer x Reader scene in it. Ik it sucks buut yea here it is.


	4. Chapter 4

You arrived at Akron, you had fallen asleep on Spencer's shoulder so you had no idea. Spencer tapped your leg trying to wake you up. After crying earlier you were tired and dead to the world. After he finally woke you up, you weren't fully cognizant of what was happening. Spencer offered to walk you out of the plane since you were still really tired and you took him up on his offer. The chill of the air brought goosebumps all over your arms, you forgot to get your jacket from the plane. You ran to get it and nearly ran over Hotch while getting back on the plane. Every time you saw Hotch you managed to make yourself look like an idiot. _Better him than Spencer._ You grabbed your jacket and slipped it on and rejoined the group, standing beside Spencer.

Everyone broke off to find out clues to find the unsub. You stayed with Spencer and walked off with him. He explained what everyone usually does at this point and you discussed details of the murder with him. The first place you went to was the place Zach was found. You asked the people that were staffed at the time the body was found questions. All the information they gave aligned with the information the police gave you. Nothing was making sense. You talked with Spencer about everything and he seemed to understand it. _How does he do it? Hot, smart, and caring. He's the whole package._ He discussed everything with the rest of the team. They found the unsub the next day.

You were sitting in a hallway thinking to yourself. _I'm not good enough to be here. I don't understand how they do it._ "Hey what's up" you heard a voice call from the door beside you. It was Spencer. _Man, I just wanna kiss him._ "Nothing much just thinking." "Whatcha thinking about?" You didn't want to answer that question. You didn't need the team knowing that you felt inferior to them. Especially Hotch. "Nothing you would care about." He sat down beside you. "How do you know I wouldn't care?" "Do you really wanna know?" "Yes, that's why I asked." _Guess I'm not getting out of this._ "Fine, I don't think that I'm as good as everyone else. I don't think that I belong." He looked at you shocked. "Are you kidding me? You had to have some kind of skill to get this job. Besides, it's only your first case. You still need to get used to how things work here you'll be fine. You belong." His words were comforting. _He's right y/n, it is your first case. You don't really know how things work here._ "Thanks, Spencer" He patted your shoulder and told you that y'all would be leaving in 30 minutes. _What could I do for 30 minutes?_ You walked in the room Spencer was in, you saw that no one else was in the room with him. You asked Spencer if he wanted to grab a milkshake. Considering the fact that the nearest diner was 5 minutes away you would be able to go grab one and be back before y'all had to leave. "I would love to, but I'm lactose intolerant." "Oh" you said. You felt bad for asking. "I had no idea, sorry." "You're fine, do you wanna grab something else and bring it back instead?" You hadn't expected that. "Yea, sure that sounds great."

Y'all walked to the diner together and grabbed burgers. _Wait a second this is a date, no it's not it's just two friends grabbing dinner together. But then again isn't that a date._ "Thanks for dinner" you told Spencer. What made this better was the fact that he paid for dinner. You walked to the plane with 5 minutes to spare. You both walked onto the plane and sat down next to each other. You laid your head on his shoulder, slowly at first just to make sure that he was okay with it. Eventually, you fell asleep and he whispered something in your ear. "You are beautiful. You belong here trust me." He knew you couldn't hear him, he liked it that way. He laid his head on yours and fell asleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This chapter is really rough because I had some serious writers block today but I think it turned out decent enough to post. Have a great day:)


	5. Chapter 5

It's been a week since you got back from Akron. Spencer texted you every morning. You started to text back. Your conversations never got too deep but it was nice to talk to him every day, at work and at home. As you walked through the doors of the BAU you saw him standing at his desk. _God, I wish I could fuck him..._ "y/n!". JJ's voice startled you a bit but she usually gave a good scare in the mornings. Since you started working at the BAU she wanted to be friends, you accepted. I mean considering the fact that you knew no one else here you decided to give her a shot.

"Hey JJ, how's it going?" You replied. "Great, what about you?" she walked to your desk with you, she often did this. "It's going I guess" you said with a slight chuckle. "That's good, at least you're not feeling bad. It was good talking to you!" she said as she walked off. "You too". Spencer looked at you, you felt his eyes on you. "Need something?" you asked. "Nope, you just didn't text me this morning. Are you okay?" You thought to yourself, _shit that's right._ You woke up late this morning, you saw his text but you were too busy to respond. "Sorry" you said "I woke up late this morning and I was rushed, I guess I forgot to text you back." You genuinely felt bad. You always texted him back, you always wanted to talk to him. "You're fine, you know it's not required, but you always do and so I started to worry a little bit when you didn't."

 _Gahh, He's so cute when he cares._ "I swear I'm fine" You chuckled. "Anyways, Good Morning Spence." you said sarcastically. He smiled, His smile was adorable. You knew you were falling and you were falling hard, but it kinda sucked bacause you were sure that he didn't like you back. "Good Morning y/n." The way he said your name was angelic. You would never get over it. You wanted him, but he didn't want you. You smiled back, you wanted to ask him his feelings but not at work.

It was the end of the day, you thought about whether he liked you back all day. You never came to a decision. Sure you were a profiler but reading Spence was hard. Spencer walked you to your car. He'd done this for the past week, He said that he didn't want you to get hurt. "Do you have feelings for me?" _Shit._ You let it slip. "What?" He asked. "Nothing" you said quickly. He stopped mid-stride. You stopped once you realized what he did. You immediately turned red. He turned you around smashing his lips onto yours. Your eyes shut as soon as your lips touched his. Your stomach was doing summersaults. He pulled away, leaving you wanting more. He looked at you, blushing. "Yes, I have since I laid eyes on you." "When I fell?" you laughed. "Yes, I thought it was cute and when you fell asleep on my shoulder it felt like I was finally complete." You blushed a deeper shade of red that you didn't even know was possible. "Do you want to grab dinner?" He looked at you as if it was a stupid question. "Are you kidding me? Yes!" You were shocked at his answer. You kissed him one more time before turning around to go to the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hey! So I HATE Corona. It is making school work so stressful. Quarantine is getting interesting and I haven't had time to write anything. So here's a thrown together chapter to put out some kind of content:)


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer drove the both of you to a restaurant that was near the BAU. You, of course, were nervous, actually, you were terrified. You didn't want to make yourself look like a fool during dinner, but your dumbass asked the question. You walk into the restaurant holding hands. Fuck, this is happening. You were seated and given you menus. You look at him, "So, technically this is a date, right?" He responded with a simple, "Yes" and smiled. God, his smile is perfect.

-Spencer's POV-

God, She is Beautiful. You couldn't get over it. You didn't really care whether she was pretty or not, it just added to her perfection. She had the smarts, the humour, and she cared for everyone. She's perfect. I wonder what she thinks of me? "So what are you getting?" I asked her to try to make conversation. I loved hearing her voice. "I have absolutely no idea", she laughed. Her laugh is perfect. "What about you?" she asked, raising one eyebrow, but still having her lip pulled to the side. "I don't know either" I chuckled.

-Back to your POV-

Both of you finished your food faster than you would've liked. You look at your phone, it's only 9:00, "So do you wanna do anything after this?" You asked. He looked at you with his eyebrow cocked up, "What do you wanna do?" "I don't know, maybe just walk around I guess." You blushed. You didn't really know what you wanted to do, you just knew that you didn't want to leave him quite yet. "What if we went to my place and watched a movie?" You stared at him blushing. "Uhh, yea sure. That sounds great." He smiled, "Cool, do you wanna go ahead and leave then?" "Sure". You paid for dinner this time and rode to his place. He lived in an apartment that wasn't too small, but it wasn't too big either.

You, not knowing what to do, walked in and just kind of awkwardly walked to the kitchen waiting for him to walk in and tell you where to put your stuff. Wow, This place is nice...Wish my place looked this nice. Since you just moved to Quantico, you still had boxes in some area of your house and your main living area was nothing short of a disaster. He walked in and took your stuff from you simply placing it on the kitchen table. He walked you to the couch and motioned for you to sit down. He went to his movie case, one might call him a collector. You saw that they were arranged a certain way. It almost looked like they were arranged by release date, based off of movies you saw that you also knew the release dates of. "So, do you like any kind of specific movies?" "Umm" You thought for a second, you kinda just watched whatever was on Netflix that looked cool. "Horror", You had a plan. You were gonna cuddle with him by the end of the night and this is exactly how you were gonna do it. "Huh, didn't take you as that kind of person" He said with a smile. "Ever seen The Grudge?", He had a grin plastered on his face. "Nope, is that what we're gonna watch?" "I guess so".

Spence put the Disc in, you offered to make popcorn. He showed you where everything was and went back to the living room. You were in the kitchen when you heard a loud bang come from the living room. "Shit", you heard him say. "Are you okay?" You said from the kitchen. "Yea, I just tripped on the table." You laughed, a little bit louder than you meant to. "Great Job" you said sarcastically as you walked into the living room with the popcorn. Spence was already sitting on the couch waiting for you. He took the bowl from you as you sat down beside him. He started the movie and motioned for you to scoot closer. You did and he wrapped his right arm around you. You felt safe. The movie barely started and you were already getting tired and you sat there in warmth and safety, taking in his scent. You finally drifted off to sleep about midway through the movie. When Spencer noticed he paused the movie and carried you to his bed, trying his best not to wake you up.

-Spencer's POV-

You looked down and saw that y/n was asleep. You thought that she was the cutest thing ever, the way her face layed on your side, at peace. You paused the movie, trying to move as little as possible trying not to wake her up. You got up off the couch, moving ever so slowly. You fixed your bed so that way it was sufficient enough for her to sleep on, you went back to the living room and carried her bridal style back to the bedroom. As you were walking she nuzzled her head into your neck, I wish I could call her mine. You placed her on the bed, acting as if she was a piece of glass. You kissed her forehead and moved a pillow and blanket to the couch so you could get some sleep yourself.

-Back to your POV-

You were half asleep as Spencer carried you to his room. You felt him place a kiss on your forehead. You smiled and blushed as he walked out. You shortly fell back asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

You woke up to someone shaking you, this more so scared you awake more than anything else. I mean you did live alone, right? You saw Spencer over you. You were confused as to why this was happening, then it hit you. You had fallen asleep on the couch last night and Spencer carried you to his bed, you had slept in Spencer's bed last night. "Good Morning sleepyhead" he giggled. You rolled your eyes, _wait I look like a mess right now. I just woke up, he can't see me like this._ You jumped out of bed and ran into the closet, which you had thought was the bathroom. But you were wrong. "What exactly are you doing?" he asked, "Oh nothing, I just got scared and so I ran...into the closet...cause I thought it was the bathroom." _Idiot._ Spencer stood outside the closet laughing. He opened the door and pointed to the bathroom, still laughing. You again rolled your eyes and took the walk of shame to the bathroom. "You look fine by the way" He said as if he could read your thoughts.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. He was right, you didn't look as bad as you usually did in the mornings. Which you were eternally grateful for. "You know, you're cute when you sleep." Spencer said, trying to make conversation. "Thanks, I guess", you didn't really know how to respond to that. Sure it was a nice comment, and you did appreciate it, it was weird that this was the level you two were on now. You had already established feelings for each other and kissed. All you needed were titles.

You walked out of the bathroom after attempting to fix your hair and face a little bit. Spencer looked at you and smiled. His smile was still as cute as ever. "Do you want anything for breakfast? I don't have much, but if you want anything you can have it." "Thanks, Spence" "Sure" he commented rubbing the back of his neck. You walked to the kitchen as he followed, "I have a question for you." You asked Spencer, turning red. "Yea what's up" "So after everything that happened last night. I know it wasn't a lot, but I just want to clear things up. Are we anything right now, or like do you want to be anything? Do you want to put titles on anything, or are you just not that type of person. I jus-" "Your rambling" he cut you off. "And yes I'm a titles kinda guy. Also, I wouldn't mind being something right now. Not if you don't mind." His answer shocked you. You hadn't expected for him to be up for titles at the moment. "Okay then, do you want to put titles on it now?" "Sure" This was getting awkward. "Okay, Spencer, Do you want to be my boyfriend then." "Yes!" He answered, particularly quickly and excitedly "Okay then, I guess we're official." He brought you in for a hug and kissed you. You were still red, but you sure as hell weren't complaining. You hugged him back.

Spencer's phone started ringing. He answered it. "Dr. Spencer Reid...oh hey Morgan...oh snap sorry, I slept in...I know I know I'll be there shortly...Ok mhm bye." "Duty calls" he laughed. "Um, yea I need to get to work too, but I just so happen to have the same clothes I had on last night, and my car is at the BAU. So could you not only drive me to work but also swing by my place so I could change?" "Sure, I don't mind" He sounded so sincere and almost apologetic. As if leaving your car at the BAU was his fault. "Thank you"

**_-Time Skip-_ **

You both arrived at the BAU You knew that people saw your car at the BAU, you also knew that you were not there to accompany it. And to make matters worse, you were walking the same time as Spencer. Not that it was entirely a bad thing but, people would have questions, questions you particularly didn't feel like answering.

You walked in and no one was even paying attention, _wow all that worry for nothing_. You walked with Spencer to your desks, JJ was there to greet the both of you. "You can't be running off together and come into work late all the time okay?" she said jokingly. "I'm only messing with you, anyways Good Morning y/n and Spencer." She walked away and you were smiling, sure you loved JJ, but sometimes she was just too happy. "So do you want to tell other people?" You asked Spencer, very quietly. "Not if you don't want to." "Not right now, I like the secrecy" He smiled at you. You noticed that he did this a lot.

**_-Yet another Time Skip (yes, it's because I'm lazy)-_ **

You were lying in your own bed. It was cold and you felt lonely, but you knew one thing. Spencer Reid was yours, and only yours. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~TW: This could be a little iffy for some people, it involved memories from an abusive relationship. Nothing too bad but I thought that I would put this here for those of you who might've been in a relationship like this:(

You and Spencer have been dating for two months, It's been great. You often stayed the night at his apartment and he stayed at yours. You always forgot to bring clothes to change into the next day, so you decided that you would bring a couple of outfits and other essentials to his apartment and keep them there. Spencer thought that this was a good idea, he told you that he would stay at his apartment and clear out a drawer for you while you went to your apartment.

You got up to your door and realized that it was unlocked. _That's Weird...I probably just forgot to lock it yesterday._ You walked into your apartment and saw that everything was a mess. _Did someone break-in?_ You called Spencer and told him about everything, "y/n come back here, they could still be there!".

You turned around and started walking back to your car. You kept your mind on not running away like a scared little girl. You heard someone walk up to you and say hi. You were making a beeline to your car until they walked up in front of you. You had bumped into them, "Hi, I'm new to this complex. The names Zach, what about you?" "Caroline" you lied. **_(if your name is Caroline feel free to change it)_** "Well then, _Caroline_ ," He said the name as if he knew you were lying. "Mind showing me around?" you were confused by how upfront he was. "No, sorry I actu-" He grabbed your wrist. "Follow Me", He said with a stern tone. "Let go of me" you whimpered. He hit you and everything went black.

**_-Spencer's POV-_ **

It's been an hour since I heard anything from y/n. I'm starting to get worried. She only lives 15 minutes away. She should've been back by now. _I'll just get Garcia to pin her phone. It's fine._ I called Garcia, it was our day off but I figured that she should still be able to work her magic. She was able to find y/n's phone at her apartment but there hadn't been any activity for 30 minutes. _Ugh, I told her to leave and now she could be hurt._ I thanked Garcia and hung up. I drove as fast as the speed limit would let me to y/n's apartment. When I got there the door was ajar. I had brought my gun with me just in case, so walked in with my gun ready to fire. I was clearing the apartment when I heard a bang from the closet. I opened the door to see y/n hunched over, unconscious. I began to pick her up and rush out, but just as I cleared the threshold of her bedroom I heard two men enter the main doorway. I hurriedly went to her bathroom and locked the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. I placed y/n on the floor and went to guard the door waiting for anyone who dared come in. Y/n began to slowly wake up and I could hear moans and groans coming from her. I walked over to her, but just as I turned my back to the entrance, I heard a loud banging come from the door.

**_-Y/n's POV-_ **

I began to wake up after the coldness of the tile shot through my body. I remember walking away from my door after calling Spencer, but I don't remember how I ended up here. I heard a banging at the door, sending waves of pain through my head. I looked around and I saw Spencer, gun in hand. I had no idea what was happening, not only that, I was scared. I was guessing he saw the expression because he rushed over and shushed me. Next thing I knew the door was being kicked open with two people. One was Alex, your ex. The other person looked familiar but you couldn't quite place him. Spencer immediately rushed at them, but Alex was too quick. He dodged Spencer attack and hit him back, sending him crashing against the sink. As soon as Spencer's back made contact with the sink you yelped as you were being picked up and thrown onto your bed. You didn't understand this. You hadn't talked to Alex in a year, you had also moved so that way he didn't know where you stayed anymore, yet he still found you.

**_-Memory-_ **

"Maybe you shouldn't go out so late all the time!" Alex yelled at you slapping you across the face as you whimpered, the stinging intensifying even after initial contact. "You don't get to control my actions, I am an adult!" You retaliated. Alex stared you down as you walked like a dog with its tail between its legs to the bedroom. You knew that this was gonna be a rough night, wasn't every night rough. This was a cycle that you couldn't get out of. You had tried to leave him before. It didn't take him two weeks to win you back though. You felt useless and powerless with him. He used you for the sex and as something that he could toss around and control.

**_-Back to Reality-_ **

You watched Spencer being dragged out of the bathroom tied up with his shirt. "I told you that you were mine y/n, That means forever. You can change your name, your number, your address, and your place of work, but I will always find you and bring you back home." Alex stalked over to you as he talked. "She doesn't belong to anyone", Spencer said in your defence, immediately acknowledged with a slap in the face. "Spence, you won't win this", You told him. You thought that you had finally escaped him, I mean it had been a year. You had thought that he finally let you go, that was a foolish thought. "Y/n y/n y/n, now do you want to tell your friend bye so we can go home." Alex began to pick up you and hoist you over his shoulder when you saw Morgan run into the room gun in hand. "Put y/n down NOW!" Morgan demanded. Alex just turned around to meet Morgan's eyes. "y/n I didn't know that you had this many men in your life, I thought we had talked about this." "Put. Her. Down. Now." Morgan bit every word. Alex then tossed you on the bed and charged at Morgan. You thought that that was a pretty idiotic idea, considering the fact that Morgan was bigger than him. Then again you knew that Alex you go to any means necessary just to get you back in his home and under his control. As soon as Alex went towards Morgan, Morgan moved to the side and tackled Alex to the ground, handcuffing him as soon as he got him secure. While this was happening the other guy just stood in the corner looking scared. Spence realized this and took his chance to take him down. You felt like some stupid damsel in distress. You didn't like it, although you appreciated it, you felt useless again. As soon as they got the other guy apprehended, Spencer ran over to you giving you the biggest hug he's ever given you, it was full of love. You began to cry, you thought that you would never be free of this pain that you felt. The pain of your past relationship. Although Spencer was nothing like Alex, you still thought that at some point things might go south, you knew that that would never happen but you couldn't help but think of the what if's.

**_-Time Skip: 3 Weeks-_ **

It had been 2 weeks since you last saw Alex. You had to give a case in court. You finally gave your side of everything. He had been put in jail for everything that he did to you. You finally felt truly at peace. After all of this, you had decided to move in with Spencer. You now shared the bedroom, the kitchen, everything. It was nice, you had finally got to the point where you weren't scared to trust him 100% anymore. You knew that he wouldn't hurt you as Alex hurt you. Maybe it was a different shade of love. 


	9. Chapter 9

**_-Spencer's POV-_ **

Me and y/n have been living together for 7 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days. I have never been happier, y/n finally opened up to me about what really happened between her and Alex for all those years. It broke me to see her cry like she did that night. Now she is in a better state of mind, she finally has let go of all her past fears. Now I know it's time to ask her to marry me. I've known since the day we first talked that I wanted to marry her, I got the ring the week after we started dating.

I've been trying to ask her all week, every time I get the chance one of us gets pulled away. For instance, this morning I fixed her breakfast and put the ring on the tray. What happens? We get called in work for a case. Now I'm on that plane with her, asleep on my shoulder. She looks so at peace, she's no longer looks stressed from work. "I love you" I whispered as I kissed the top of her head. "Okay pretty boy, not right in front of me," Morgan commented, sarcastically. "Oh shut up, if you could actually get a girl you would do the same." Sometimes I really hated Morgan's responses when me and y/n to cheesy stuff. I understand that it's cheesy and all, but I mean Morgan and Garcia do the same shit.

Anyways, if it isn't too hectic when we land, I'm gonna ask y/n tonight. I have a plan. We go get dinner, we walk around, I get her to stop, I tell her how much I love her and how I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I get down on one knee, ask the question, and then wait for her response. We landed in Omaha, Nebraska. I found a restaurant that we can go to. I just hope this works out, I need to ask her tonight.

**_-Time Skip: 5 hours-_ **

Thankfully we weren't too bombarded with things when we landed. We all went to the hotel, I pulled y/n off to the side, "Hey y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner tonight?" She looked tired and I kinda felt bad for asking. "No sorry baby, I'm really tired. I didn't get much sleep last night, that's why I fell asleep on the plane." I was disappointed but I know what it's like to not be able to sleep. "Okay that's fine, wanna cuddle?" "Is that even a question?" I picked her up and carried her to our room. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, _guess she wasn't kidding_. I closed my eyes allowing sleep to come.

I woke up the next morning nervous, _will I ever be able to ask her?_

**_-Y/n's POV-_ **

Spencer has been trying to talk to me all week, it seems important and it's honestly starting to worry me. He seems a little off from his normal confident self. I woke up this morning to a nervous Spencer. "Spence, what's wrong?" He just looked at me and shook his head. _Bullshit._ "Babe, You need to tell me what's wrong. I wanna help." He raised an eyebrow and talked in a raspy voice, "I'll tell you tonight. If you wanna help, go to dinner with me. I don't care if we go to McDonald's for dinner, I just wanna eat dinner with you and you alone." "Okay, we can do that."

All-day was stressful. We got leads on the unsub but my mind was preoccupied with what was bothering Spencer. _Is he going to tell me during dinner, is something wrong between us? No that's silly. Is it though?_ Although you had lost your stupid fears of not being good enough, this whole situation was letting those fears come back to the surface. I think Spencer saw that I was in my own world because he came over to me, throwing his arm over me. _Surely this means that we are doing good right? Right._

Soon enough we were at dinner, we ended going to some steakhouse in the area. We didn't talk about what was bothering Spencer during dinner, that just made me worry more. After dinner, we went to walk around a nearby park. Once we got there he immediately started talking. "I'm sorry for worrying you this morning but there's been something that I've been trying to tell you." _Oh no_ "Look, I've enjoyed the time we've had together, but I want something more" _I knew it,_ I feel tears start to form and one slips down. Leaving a burning sensation as it falls. "No y/n not like that. I mean I want more with you. I want security that you will be mine forever. I love you so much. Y/n, I never want to hurt you." Our phones begin to ring, _work_ , I answer my phone to hear Mogan's voice "There's been another murder, you guys need to get here now." I sighed and I told him that we would be there shortly. "Spence" "I know, come on let's go."

**_-Time Skip: 2 days-_ **

We got back yesterday, Spencer has been distant. It looks like he's thinking hard all the time, and I don't like it. We got back home after work tonight, I put my stuff down on the table. I walked to the kitchen until Spencer stopped me before I could enter. "Y/n, I'm sick and tired of waiting for the perfect moment to do this because I don't think that there is going to be one. I've loved you since the day we met, I don't know where I would be without you. Therefore I want to ask you something." He pulled out a ring from his pocket. "I bought this as soon as we started dating, I knew that you were the person that I wanted to marry. So, y/f/n/ y/l/n" He got down on one knee. I knew what was happening. H _e doesn't want to break up, he wants to marry me._ "Will you marry me?" "Yes, yes of course!" He stood back up and you kissed him. You closed your eyes feeling at peace with the world, at peace with yourself, and at peace with your heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Author's Note~
> 
> Hey guys, so originally I wasn't going to end the book so early but with the way, I ended the last chapter I thought that it would be better if I ended the book here instead of writing more. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I will be writing more in the future, I want to write a prequel to this book. Just something to try. Anyways I hope that y'all are saying safe and inside. Wash your hand and have a great day:)


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